I got another M A S H disc, season 3.

We got more "Deadwood" Episodes (why only 2 episodes per disc? That is fucked up)

And since Netflix is going to stop selling their used DVDs we took advantage of that and bought "Once" (maybe one of the best films I have seen in a long time) and
"House of flying daggers" (Costume porn. Total unadulterated costume porn.)

Also some sweet letters from my friend Boris (nome de guerre) whose cat just passed away last week. l2g and I sent them (Boris and C, his partner aka my gay mom and dad) some really unusual calla lilies, that were burgundy, purple and brownish. Really striking and dramatic. l2g and I saw them and I knew they were perfect.

Also, though this has nothing to do with anything. I love all my moleskines. I think I am going to have to get one for the niecelet. She saw me doing some thumbnail sketches for an art idea, and she saw me writing notes on the Black Dahlia tour. She asked me about them. I had a roommate who worked at Restoration Hardware and she had got me several as some came in a little damaged. This was about 7 years ago, and I would fill them up with lists, quotes, notes, drawings, whatever. I was glad to come across them again, I had no idea they were all the rage-I think there is even a LJ community for them.

Hoping my feet will thaw out under the heating pad. I am still having this weird pain in my left leg, it used to be higher up, but now it is closer to my shin and my foot.

Can someone please tell me why there is such an intense dislike for Ayn Rand amongst my peers and friends?

I remember reading "The Fountainhead" for a class, and "Anthem" for a reading circle. I was NOT incredibly impressed by her work, and I read a small blurb about her in wikipedia claiming she was pro capitalist, anti feminist, and anti homosexual, yet she would recant these positions at will, which again, does not impress me. Yet, I am a big fan of Henry Miller and Anais Nin.

Is it sad that one of my comfort books is LITTLE WOMEN? I have been reading that along with Sara Vowells "Assassination Vacation" which I have listened to on DVD but wanted to actually read as well. I wish my Mom did not hate me so much, because I think she would really enjoy Sarah Vowell and her books.

Speaking of which, her birthday is coming up and I have not decided what to do about it. I have a gift certificate for the Victorian Trading Catalog, but I feel it is too impersonal, and she will never use it, as I find that many gift cards, I or Discy and I have given her go without being used. This book would be good, as well as some Rosary beads I saw made out of pressed roses. But, I am not entirely sure. I have been out of sorts all day.

So can someone please answer the Ayn Rand question for me.

I am throwing around ideas for my blog, mostly what I will use for a logo. I really want to use an Gil Elvgren picture that is a girl dressing in the frame of a keyhole (as if someone is looking through the keyhole) The other ideas were a drawing by John Willie (from the 'Bizarre' magazine) and the last, and strangely most difficult is mug shots of women from the 20's -40's. I have time to look, but I really was hoping it would be a little simpler than this. Nothing I have drawn myself has pleased me either. I think l2g is happy that I have something to occupy my mind and look forward to. I am doing research on certain people and things that I want to blog. Joan is excited about us being able to 'Tag Team' between our blogs, also she is going to buy a pendelton off me. I have a vintage pendleton collection which is much to large, so I am selling one I have that is in very good condition, it just needs shoulderpads. It is a lovely black watch-ish plaid with yellow running through them. I am glad I could sell it at a good price and to someone I like.

I am still not sure what is going to be for our weekend. We were going to go up for Richard's (one of the owners and hosts of Esotouric) 40th birthday. I cannot believe he and his wife are younger than us. I could have sworn they were older. Not by much, really. They were going to have a tour in the afternoon and then we would meet at the bakery for his party. Then the bus tour got canceled, and he gladly invited l2g and I to take a tour around int Richard and Kim's car, which I thought was a really kind gesture. I am really glad I hit it off with Kim and Joan and that we all like each other. I have trouble with some people from L.A., especially in the swing scene, being so haughty and thinking they are too cool for school, which most of them are not. I have been grounded in the alternative scene since I was 14, so my name is known, and when I go to shows for any kind of music, I normal run into someone I know from "The Scene" from my days. When I was running around listening to 50's 60's and alternative music, it was the early eighties and the Punks, Mods, New Romantics (which became the Goths), Rockabilly/Swingkids/Warbabies all ran together since San Diego was pretty small (not like now) and rather than compete, we just figured it was safety in numbers as opposed to keeping ourselves vulnerable to Rockers and Long Hairs. It is funny to think I have been, for the better part of my life running around wearing weird clothes and having weird hair, pretty much doing my own thing and eschewing fashion or trend, and having a good time while doing it. I digress. I liked Kim and Richard from the get go, people who are articulate, intelligent, funny and love old clothes the way I do, or can definitely appreciate it, like l2g, and can relate or share my love of true crime, and strange murders are people I cannot help but adore. So even though I feel like I have lost all my soical abilities being in the house all day, it is nice that these people find me funny, charming and intelligent.

My beloved Niece, 'Fancy' (her nomme de Guerre) wrote me some nice letters that I got yesterday. Today is her birthday, she is quarter century girl. She enjoyed her early birthday present, the Black Dahlia tour, afternoon tea, ad getting her hair cut and colored. I put down a lot of money for her, but I was telling l2g that I have not been able to do much for her in the past so, I want to be able to treat her while I can. She also spoke of how sharp both l2g and I looked. Which both of us were very flattered, as I was having a bad time of it with feeling under the weather, so I just wore a red vintage cashmere twin set, some new jeans I bought from J peterman that look VERY vintage and fit like a dream, my hand tooled wedgies (I wanted to show off my pedicure, plus be comfy) a red and grey pendleton (one of my many) and red gloves. And my pearls. l2g wore Khaki trousers and a guayabera that was supposed to be navy blue but looks black. He was all shaved and was having a really good hair day, as was I. It was very strange and emotional that when we got to the 'dump' site of Elizabeth Short's body, it began to rain. Only then, and only then did it rain. And then it cleared up again. We all agreed it was some sort of sign.

I thwarted Jury duty for the next 6 months. Thank Gods.

And then, Last night, This Happened.

I was looking for our Mr Clean White out Sponge under the sink. I am not supposed to be bending over or squatting while my back and arm are acting up so much. Plus my left leg (calf area) has had strange throbbing shooting pain. But that does not stop me from being strangely anal and looking for this sponge.

I stood up again, and I was having a major headrush. My ears were ringing and I felt kinda woozy so I stood there a moment, my back to the sink, holding onto the tile counter behind me with both hands and taking deep breaths. I close my eyes....

And the next thing I know I am crumpled on the floor, halfway into a bag of recycling up against the under the counter cupboards. I am telling l2g that I was okay, and I could hear him talking, just barely. I stood up and came to bed and he asked me what happened. I asked him what he heard. He looked at me kinda strangely, noticed I was not joking around and said, "I heard this dull thud, it sounded really weird, so I called out your name and asked if you were okay" (To which I answered, "yeah, I'm fine..."). So I told him what happened. I am slightly freaked out. I have not changed my meds, neither increasing or decreasing, I did not drink any alcoholic beverages last night nor yesterday. The previous evening I had a small glass of wine with dinner. I am not pregnant (because you would need a womb to get impregnated, and I got none). So I am trying to stay low today. I am hurting from the fall, and still having back/arm/leg troubles that keep me from doing anything anyway.

So, can anyone give me any insight to what happened? Has that happened to any of youse guys, or someone you knew?

I am kind of weirded out right now.

So, since seeing previews for "The Changeling" I have been craving a cloche hat. I have a lovely crochet one in greys made by my lovely niecelet. I happen across one that was wool, the right dimensions and was a buy it now or best offer. I negotiated a good price with the vendor, and I got it yesterday




Then I ordered some dupioni silk that has been shot, which for those of you that do not know, it means that the horizontal (weft) is a different type of thread from the vertical (warp)which can give it an iridescence that is quite striking. My wedding dress was like this, it was ivory and a champagne so it had the effect of looking like a pearl. And the bridesmaids dresses also had this effect though their dresses were made from taffeta.

The silk was actually a good price per yard (best offer). But I bought altogether 6 yards at 10 dollars per yard. And I find I did not have as much money as I thought I had in the bank. Which means I had to borrow, which means I feel like an asshole.





I think these colors look great together. One is a plum violet and other is cobalt blue and copper. I plan to use two colors on the hat minimum, So I am either going to use these two
OR-These two:






The first one is sort of a dusty rose with black/drk grey shot through it, and the second one is a pale gold with a bright fuchsia. I thought these go great together too.

And then I got some black just in case, and this other fabric I have been looking for EVERYWHERE. They had less than a yard but I can get some red or jade green fabric to frame it and make it a
reversible tablecloth.






So, if you have any input, let me know. I am going to take one or two fabrics, make a sash, and slip it through a black bakelite belt buckle. Then at the end that pulls through the buckle I am going to make a bit of a poof with one, 2 or all of the fabrics. Kind of like a cockade or rosette around the buckle. I just wonder if these colors are too much if I should understate it with one color as I am hoping to get a lot of mileage out of this hat this winter. I have another cloche that I plan to use some of this fabric on as well, just to punch it up, and showcase some beautiful bakelite dress clips I got some time ago for next to nothing.

I hope for some this is a visual feast. Hope I did not bore too many of yous. But I look forward to a project like this as something to keep me busy and occupied. Same with my website. I came up with a couple of logos, I just need to give them a final touch, and I will be asking for and hopefully, getting some feedback for these.

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Up-to-10000-Protest-Against-Prop-8.html


Since I was a teenager, all I wanted was to move to Hillcrest.

Since I was 14 I have had gay friends. Fruit Fly, Fag Hag, call me what you want. But I found that their friendship was the best friends I had. I never cared for other girls, they seemed so untrustworthy and catty. My gay friends were smart, funny, liked the same music I did. They could dance and sing. I went to a creative arts school so most of the boys were gay, even if they did not realize it.

I spent my teenage years flitting around Hillcrest. It was close to the park (where the theatre group I was involved with met and had lessons and performances). Things there were charming, and interesting. I went my my first coffee house, Quel Fromage. I spent a lot of time there. Hillcrest has been my home for a little under 20 years. When I moved back home from San Francisco, back to Hillcrest I moved. I am proud of this community. I am an advocate for gay rights. I am a bisexual. One my worst day, I have had more pussy than on some guys' best day.

Today 10,000 people walked down University (one of the main drags that actually intersects my street which is also a main drag) and protested. I was unable as I have been in alot of pain that has kept me down for the day. But I was there in spirit. I am proud of my community. Proud of our solidarity. Proud of the Love and Pride and truth that runs through here. Hate IS not a family value.

What is wrong with two people loving each other? Wanting to commit themselves to one another? Why is this so bad? Why is this so wrong? Love should be happy, not a sin.

My very own blog!! dressedtoslay.com

Discy is going to help me with the structure of it this weekend, figure out the layout and what not.

The girls (Coop and Red) from Vintage Powder Room and Esotouric (1947 project and scram) are completely behind me, and want to cross promote and reference.

I need to start to practice with crime info I have...

This has been resched to tomorrow at 11 am at the no on 8 headquarters, 301 University. It will be a peaceful march all the way to 30th and University. I got this info from the GLBT center on Centre St.

Thought y'all would like to know.

I am hoping to get more info on the Gay Marriage protest tonight. From what my friend told me it is going to be near my neighborhood which is very important to me.

This is a human rights issue. This is not a religious issue although all these religious groups are all bent over this. I wish we could be able to truly separate church and state. In studying the law, it makes me so MAD!!

I don't know one of my gay friends who have demanded a church wedding.

Using the Bible as a defense is pointless. When the US was trying to abolish slavery, the argument against it was, that slavery was in the bible, therefore it is okay to practice it.

And how people are going HAVE to teach gay marriage in the schools. Will they teach that along with Divorce, Child Molestation by a step-parent or blood parent, mental and physical abuse, incest, adultery....any one of these things?

How is it that some of the gay relationships I know have lasted longer than more Marriages I know? (Longer than My brother's and his wife, and he is a born again christian). He is actually pretty cool and an accepting gut but he voted yes on this which has been a bone of contention.

I wonder if this is the year I come out to my family.

I guess it is a moot point to them since I am married. I am sure they will think I am not bisexual anymore, or straight either, since some people seem to think marriage neuters you in some way.

Please people, do whatever you can in your community to overthrow this court decision. It needs to be stopped!!

Gay people are not second class citizens. They are US. We are part of it.

I am finally, again, proud to be American. I can say MY country. Soon I will be able to say President Obama. Instead of saying (like Sara Vowell does) our current President, because saying his name makes me throwup a little in my mouth.

I am so fucking lonely right now. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.

I am super hungry, but I am trying to be careful and watch my girlish figure.


NOW WILL SOMEONE PLEASE READ MY JOURNALS FOR TODAY?


please?

Ima gonna need some really good dark chocolate tonight.

I have a feeling this is going to be one of those days when I make more than one post.

My gay parents had to put (one of) their beloved cats down. Chewbite. I adored him. He was a black and white cow kitty with the black mask and two different colored eyes, which gave him a very sweet expression.

Boris(a pseudonym) was especially close to Chewbite and sent out memorial cards yesterday. It was very sad and brought both l2g and I to tears. Now we have to pick out some flowers to send.

I know I will never have a child, and yes my cats are my kids. I mean, I know they are cats, but they are very important and dear to me. I fell apart when I lost Valentino and I miss him terribly. It hurts a great deal.

Maybe I am crazy married cat lady. I really don't know.

My pain has been better, but it is probably because I am knocked up with pills. I feel like these few days have been a fog. I know what I am supposed to do and I am almost ready to take that step, but then I get scared or weird, off balance or something and I back up a bit.

I found out that my Psychologist is on jury duty and should be back soon. I am holding out for her as the other counselors I have seen there I have not been that impressed with. And she and I have done such good work.

I finally got things straightened out with my Niecelet. She meant to send it as a "I want your opinion" but she did not subject it that way or make any kind of allusion of that. So I got angry.
I said some mean things to her, and then she said some mean things to me. But we worked it out as we always manage to.

I feel bad about my parents. I want to say something, but I can't say sorry when I am not sorry. I am sorry for the manner that I said what I said, but I am not sorry for saying it. I meant the words. I just did not mean the candor in how I said it. I am just a bit brokenhearted for it. My parents are older, and though they look scary young for their ages, and quite spry, my dad has been having problems with his arm since the last seizure, and my Mom has been in remission for under a year. So, I just don't know what to do.

Meanwhile, I am listening to my ipod. And dancing around in my jammies (I am sure I hurt my arm just now)
S A T U R D A Y -NIGHT!! S A T U R D A Y -NIGHT!!

Even pretty girls get really bad gas.

So happy that we have Obama as our President.

So sad, and angry that Prop 8 has passed.

I can only hope that this presidency can help change gay rights.

On l2g's cell phone one can get TV. So we watched him give his acceptance speech. We were overcome with joy and happiness and we wept and smiled.

Could have this been the way it was when Kennedy was voted into office? Are we on the verge of our own generation of "Camelot?" Seems possible. Michelle Obama is as poised, beautiful, and polished as Jackie was. And she is smart to keep her children out of the public, which was something Mrs Kennedy also did.

The day seemed brighter and full of promise. More than ever.

Because we are all so diverse in my family, these are two subjects that I have often said should remain off-limits.

My beloved niece, Fancy, knows how I feel about homosexual rights and gay marriage.

But she sent this to me and I was thoroughly disgusted. I am so angry at her. I really feel like cutting off my family as a whole. What a bunch of idiots. I try to respect their opinions but this has gone too far.

I wish I could come out and tell them I am bisexual, but it would be moot, since I am married.

Fuck. This makes me ill. Watch at your own risk.

> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zbpDe_QhS0

I have been really wiped out all day. But I did have a lovely day of beauty. Got my nails and toes painted a perfect shade of red, got my eyebrows done and my hair cut and trimmed. It is going back to the Louise Brooks Look I covet. My hairdresser was making my bob too angled; to severe, which is what my Nicelet likes hers to look like. I brought my treasured (very expensive and out of print) Louise Brooks book and showed her exactly what I wanted to go back to. So we did. I still have a bit to grow out, but it will be back in no time.

Tomorrow, tonight, I plan to sleep sleep and sleep. Busy day Friday. We are taking the Niecelet on the 'Black Dahlia Tour' and High Tea afterward. Some of my OKC friends in LA are going to join us. I hope it is not too overwhelming for the Niecelet. She can be very talky or she can withdraw if she feels shy or uncomfortable. But she is always up for new things and that is why we are so very close.

I got a lot of compliments on my dress today. An old rayon 40's dress I got for dirt cheap. It is white with little dark blue leaves all over it and then some bigger, Rounder apple green leaves on it as well. It came with some awful looking buttons, so I went through 3 sets of buttons on ebay before I found the perfect bakelite green ones. I wore green vintage wedgies, green glass beads, bakelite green earrings and a thick bakelite green bracelet. I also wore a lambswool dark blue sweater with beautiful white beading all over it. And a great vintage green kelly bag to top it off. I went in very tired and worn out, and left still tired and worn out but feeling very smart and put together. My only complaint is a blister on my heel I must have gotten yesterday walking around with Dynomysus after tea.

I do feel quite pretty and glamorous. I have not had a whole day of beauty since, well, my birthday last year!! It feels good to be pampered and have all the girls tell you how pretty you look, how much weight you lost, etc.

I was sad one of my favorite Hairdresser Ava (a psuedonym) was not there. She decided the salon was not intimate enough for her and moved to a smaller one nearby in Mission Hills (not far from this Salon, in fact closer to Hillcrest where I live) I do miss her. We used to talk about vintage clothes and stuff, and dancing as she loves to swing/salsa/tango/balboa as well. I was telling her how l2g and I were thinking about learning our to ragtime dance as well. My hairdresser KT, told me that Ava sold some 40's gaberdine Katherine Hepburn style pants on ebay for me at a handsome price. I had given them to her to photograph on her dress form because it has legs and mine is just a torso. She photographed them, AND she listed them and sold them for a good amount, so it seems. Not surprising because 40's pants, original Gab pants in pristine condition, like these are nearly impossible to find, so people go balls out for them. I need to call her and find out. I definitely want to pay her fees and give her a cut of the amount paid for doing the gruntwork for me.

It started with a lovely bubble bath, and getting ready. I had bought myself some 40's style pants from JC penney, of all places. Grey stripe, side zip button, highwaisted nice line. I got them at a fabulous price. The problem is they are at least 2 sizes too big. When I bought them, I over estimated my size. I went to my pain management Doctor, discussed exercise, meds and he filled out my paper work for EDD, did well. He's a good doctor and does good for me.

My friend Kim (aka Dynomysus on OKC) had high tea at mille feuille. She used to work there so they really set up with lost of yummies. Salmon Sandwiches, Quiche, Brioche, Croissants, Scones, and some chocolates. One was a salt and red pepper truffle which was TO DIE FOR. I took some goodies to go for l2g, And they were kind enough to throw in some extras. Because you know....the first time is free. That's how they get ya hooked.

And the Tea was lovely. I had Vanilla Orange Rooibos. My favorite and I had not had it years.

After that we saw "The Duchess" which was fantastic. The costumes, the hats, a feast for the eyes. A very sad story, but not upstaged by yards of beautiful silks and damasks.

Then afterwords we had roast garlic and Lemon Drops at "Pizza Nova". I did shrug my diet, yes. My Dr told me I had lost 15 pounds since our last visit.

My NEW phone is acting up. Sometimes it does not read my battery or my memory card. I have all my pictures set, I turn off the phone, turn it off, and the pics are gone. When I go into saved memory and look for my pics, they are not there either, and the phone is no reading the card either. If I open the phone and remove the card and put it back it then suddenly, pictures are that. I tried this several times with my husband, tech support, and by myself.

So after my day of beauty, I will collect l2g and we will go to the Verizon store to exchange it out for most likely the same phone. I like the phone, I just don't way it has been acting up. I believe I am one of those people doomed to get a crummy gadget always.

It was a good day. Made me feel good. Today is my Day of Beauty-Mani Pedi, Eyebrows, Haircut, and possibly a color. My hair is so dark it is almost black, but living in a sunny place it warms up to a mohagany with reddish tints. Some girls covet it, I can't stand it. No grey roots.

Last night, rather early this morning, I heard my new neighbor and his friend laughing and talking loud. It was after midnight, and I was having a hard time sleeping, so I told l2g that I was gonna camp out in the living room. I let them talk awhile and then I walked over there and told them that it was late and that the whole courtyard could hear them. He and his friend were very sorry but I was cranky grumpy girl.

Today I gave him an I'm sorry card and a bottle of Cab. We got to talking and he is just the sweetest guy ever. He is gay (comes with the territory, I live in a gay community) and is a volunteer for no on 8. He brought me a sign and said that if I wanted to come volunteer he would take me along. We had a very nice talk and really hit it off.

I am glad to have someone so sweet and down to earth living here. He fits in perfectly with the rest of us and it makes me happy.

Yay for new cool neighbors!!!

I find myself not being on this site that often. Mostly as I have said, because of the cliquey asskissing that goes on there. Unfortunately a person betrayed me on this site and it sucks because of how many mutual friends we have. OR so I thought. When the chips fall you see who is your friend and who is not. At first I was sad and upset, but now I am over it. I have made my peace with it. I know that I cannot mend fences with a person who betrayed me and used me just to get a better social standing, amongst other things. Not so cool. I don't want to put the HATE on this person, I just want to ignore them (which I do) and enjoy myself with my circle of friends. I have really trimmed down my favorites to so very few, which really helps as well. It keeps me in the loop of those I like.

E-networking sites can really suck you in. I guess that is another reason why I got out of there. I wanted to have some 3D friends as well.

I am hoping some of the people I have gotten to know on here (LJ) are people I might meet (again or for the first time) in the near future. I know there is a good chance of l2g and I going to the northwest around spring-ish I hope to meet you all.

And you all know that if you want to visit San Diego, there is a great aerobed and the comfiest couch in the universe waiting here for you in casa de LarMar.

<3 to you all.

And a PS to Wimsey. Is it just me, or was this a weekend of whiny men asking the age old question "Why won't you respond to my emails"

Today I got a small check from the government and a letter saying that they are cancelling my disability checks. Why, because the Doctor they chose said I was fit to work. Even though I have sent them tons of information from my Doctor and ANOTHER Doctor saying I am unfit to do my duties at my current job. My status is permanent and stationary.

So now I need to jump through the hoops all over again. Go to this doctor, call that doctor, have him mail me the paperwork (don't want this info faxed), talk to my lawyer to see if there is anything he can do. Mail all the forms that I have filled out my doctor filled out, and the case reports to them. And then I will need to go before a judge to explain my situation. IF he denies me. I am screwed.

Even without my disability, we have a fine income coming in, but that is not the point. I do NOT like to be dependent on my husband. I think I am going to start selling on Ebay again. I have some pretty good vintage pieces that can fetch a good price, and some other in storage I can drag out.

It kind of hurts that my Mom is mad at me and has disowned me. But my Dad, who has always been wise and decent, not wanting anything to do with me, not liking me. Telling me what a pain I am, cuts me to the quick. That breaks my heart worst of all.

And to have to prove my health yet again, which is taxing and degrading. Just another nail.

I have sunk pretty damn low now and I don't when or if I will ever get out, or if I even want to for that matter...